Since my disability checks don’t go as far anymore, I decided it was time to get back out, try to find some kind of work and interact with people.
After searching and searching I finally landed my new job as a ‘meet and greeter’ at Jacks Paint and Hardware - a lovely position for a guy like me, and I would say for most older folk; except.. I lasted less than a day …
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, extremely unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store dragging her two kids, yelling obscenities at them and cursing all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to Jacks Paint." I smiled and added, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
Immediately the woman stopped screaming obscenities long enough to turn to me and yell, "Twins? Twins??? Do they look like twins??
Of course they aren’t twins you idiot!!! The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 6. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just !*+_(*&%&^%$$%* stupid?"
I looked her in the eye, smiled and replied, "No madam, I'm neither blind nor stupid, I just can’t believe someone would have had sex with you...TWICE!!! Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Jack's Paint and Hardware!"
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.
Well, at least I tried...